All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She needs sedatives and a leash
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
