There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
