My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
