New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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