are you so shy because you have an std?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
