The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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