the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
