I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
