You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
