she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
