So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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