What a fucking waste of an outfit
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
