story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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