I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
