I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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