Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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