god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
