She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
