there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
