you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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