No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My pussy is not your playground.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
