He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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