They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
