So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
