just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
