if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
