i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
