You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
