So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
