I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It's like God shit irony all over that family
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Someone signed my nipple.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
