In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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