Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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