Already got asked if we're dating
Barsexuality is the new black.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
