found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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