Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just cropdusted the office
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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