Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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