If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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