You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
