You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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