Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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