good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize