No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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