found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
