I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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