maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
