Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
