and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
