dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
