How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
