So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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