I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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