why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
