I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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