you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I can't put those talents on a resume
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
