Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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