Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
