I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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