This show inspires me to have sex in space
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
