I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize