Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
