worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so let's talk penis.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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