Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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