A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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