I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
that is very illegal...i love you.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
