Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
